Oh, ridiculous justifications. Because every one constantly uses the Internet, so too must every one constantly drink. Michigan State University released the findings from a survey stating that

…nearly 20 percent of students had withdrawn from a course or had experienced grade problems due to excessive use of the Internet or computer games; this compares to only 8.5 percent who said that drinking problems have the same effect. In addition, the percentage of people with Internet problems is far higher among men than women.

What ever is a student to do with this information at his or her fingertips? The (il)logical conclusion is to drink more and surf less. This should bring up GPAs by a few points, right? Or will Uncle Sam declare consumption of information via websites illegal for those under 21 years of age? Any way you look at it, the article could overturn society as we know it.

Read on: Internet Replaces Jack Daniel’s as “Best Excuse for a C Average”