Press Release: Welcome to SkankJank
If you haven’t heard already, here’s what SkankJank does, and here’s why we’re so excited!
Multiplatform functionality: Our app works across platforms–the iPad 2 and Symbian phones. We’re beyond Android and old tech–we’re embracing the future.
Tie in to your social nets: Through some next-gen, cutting-edge technology, our app allows you to share your party photos with your friends. Snap some pics with your iPad 2 or Symbian phone, tag ‘em and then enjoy the app’s main functionality: cruelly rating your friends’ attractiveness levels anonymously in a Hot-or-Not-style competition based on sloppy drunk party photos taken at four in the morning. Formspring integration allows people to demand to know who left the comments, and our Foursquare integration allows you to know when and where your douchebag friends photographed you!
An exciting target demographic: Our main target demographic is 18-to-24-year-old-dudebros–early adapting, bleeding edge regular guys with disposable income and a device with a camera in it. We’re already raising venture capital from Ed Hardy and Lady Gaga. (ATTENTION LADIES: We know that it’s not yet an option for you to say that you’re a ladybro on the site. Back off, babes–you’re just not a part of the beta culture.)
Paid upgrades: Though of course our basic-level service is free, we’re going to be operating on a freemium model. If you buy in to our paid accounts, you gain the ability to have your photostream beamed to your brain and to photoshop Lady Gaga (with or without meat dress) into your party pics. No one will ever know that she wasn’t really at your kegger. Mega cool!
As you can tell, we’re really excited about this opportunity. Bon voyage, and we hope to see you again at SkankJank.biz. Remember, HackCollege readers–keep skanking that jank!