I’m writing this about 5 PM on December 31st. I know I’ll be hungover when this article goes up. I know you will be, too. Prevention advice is useless: it’s coming as surely as a metaphor coming at the end of this sentence. So how do you deal with this? Glad you asked.

1. Drink

You need liquids. Water is good, but that can be a struggle. Gatoraid might be tastier for you, or Vitamin Water. Perhaps if you’re old school you might go with juices. Whatever it is, you’re going to need something to replace all the water you displaced with precious, precious alcohol. Some people will even recommend you fight fire with fire and drink more alcohol. If you decide to go that route, be gentle with yourself and pick something light, and, ideally, watered down with another liquid. Mimosas and Bloody Marys are fair choices, though be warned: drinking a Bloody Mary is actually pretty gross.

2. Eat

Bacon, eggs  and toast will cure you. And the best part is you can make it yourself. Yes, going out for brunch of New Years seems easier than cooking but think about it: leaving the house in your hangover and dealing with the lines and tables of other hung-over people seems a lot more difficult then just handling the skillet yourself. Similarly, pair that up with a big glass of orange juice. That’d be a solid breakfast if you were sober. Hungover, it’s medicine too.

3. Get Cozy (But Not How You Think)

Get out of your pajamas.

I know it sounds paradoxical, but that’s what you’ve gotta do. Take a shower too. Shave. It may take effort but after you do, you’ll feel closer to yourself and you can collapse in your jeans and sweatshirt (the living persons pajamas) and just vibe out with the added perk that you won’t be reminded of your terrible hangover every time you look in the mirror. It’s the small victories that count here.

4. Screens and Naps

Watch T.V. Now is the perfect time to watch a mediocre movie you didn’t get around to see in theaters (Ted, for example) and the best part is that you can (and should) nap during them. Other good choices for movies include fun movies you don’t have to pay attention to, like old James Bond movies or episodes of a television show you like but have already seen. Similarly, playing addictive games online can really take your mind off your hangover. Handling a Zerg rush really puts a petty headache in perspective.

5. Medicine

If for some reason you are prescribed medical marijuana and/or live in a state where it’s been decriminalized, now might be a good time for a little holistic healing.

6. Acceptence

After all these steps, accept your hangover. Don’t fight it. Sigh and settle in and remember it as the badge of honor that accompanies a successful evening. Also, remind yourself that at the very least, you’re unlikely to feel worse the entire year. It’s good to get the first hangover out of the way early in 2013.