Author Archive

How to Find a Great Apartment Fast

How to Find a Great Apartment Fast

As a former HackCollege writer, I come to you a changed man. I have new mysterious scars, a best friend that’s a mummy, and a clearly fake South African accent. But I also have something more important: serious advice on how to get an apartment. Getting an apartment, while managing a full course load and a ...

College Pranks: A Practical Guide

College Pranks: A Practical Guide

Sometimes in life, you need a little something to get back at someone, or, equally likely, something is really funny to do. Hey, we’re young and in college. Might as well pull some pranks. 1. Accept Karma Karma in college is very, very real: anyone you prank presumably is a friend of yours, and they ...

Un-Collegiate Wisdom

Un-Collegiate Wisdom

In college, it’s easy to become self-centered. Everything is being given to you all at once; it’s natural to try to grab as much as you. Sometimes, though, we bite off more than we can chew. We have everything we want, but we’re still unhappy. We think it’s because we don’t have enough- hunger- but ...

How To Deal With College Exes

How To Deal With College Exes

In college, just like in Mexican prison, there’s only one rule: don’t fall in love. However in college, just like in Mexican prison, following that rule is more difficult than it seems. There are many similarities between college and Mexican prison, such as the fact that I’ve spent four years in both, but that’s an ...

Your College Apartment Checklist

Your College Apartment Checklist

Thankfully, dorm housing doesn’t last forever. Soon (or now) you’ll be looking for an off-campus apartment, either for the academic year, your summer internship, or for both. Fortunately, I have you covered with what you’re looking for in an apartment. 1. People You Know The first and most important part of your housing is living ...

On The Boston Marathon Bombing

On The Boston Marathon Bombing

I’m at a loss for words. Boston’s my city—it’s where I was born, where I grew up, and where I go to college today. I’ve been to the Boston marathon my whole life. If I hadn’t overslept, I’d have been at the finish line of the marathon yesterday. I know that, because that’s where I ...

The Unwritten Rules of College

The Unwritten Rules of College

Here’s a list of my unwritten rules of college: You will not look like a total loser eating alone in the dining hall: you will, however, look kind of like a loser, and less like a loser depending if you go at a quiet time. Depending on the food it’s worth it. Never trust anyone who ...

How to Beat Your Classes

How to Beat Your Classes

Classes are an important part of college, allegedly. Personally, I’m a hyper-ambitious slacker, so I view them as a distraction to doing what I love: writing and napping. This begs the question: how does one pass their classes doing the least work humanely possible, with a 3.0 or better? Well, I have your back yet ...

All You’ll Ever Need To Know About Making Sandwiches

All You’ll Ever Need To Know About Making Sandwiches

The sandwich is perhaps the most celebrated form of food in America. If you count a hamburger- nature’s most perfect food- as a brand of sandwich, then it isn’t even close. Wraps? You’ve got to be kidding me. No one likes wraps. Sandwiches are easy, even for college kids to make. But sadly many college ...

How To Handle The Fourth Quarter

How To Handle The Fourth Quarter

You’re back from Spring Break, and it’s the second half of the second semester. That means this is the fourth quarter, and, if Basketball has taught me anything, it’s that the fourth quarter is the only quarter worth watching. Baseball wise, this is the home-stretch. Hockey wise, I have no idea. I don’t watch hockey. ...

Career Advice From a Careerless Man

Career Advice From a Careerless Man

You don’t want career advice from someone who’s going to have a career. They’re going to give you all the good advice, all the solid, soul-crushing things that hurt me to repeat here. Network, they say. That’s…that’s all I remember, really. After I heard that, I started thinking about sharks that were also ghosts (ghost-sharks) ...

How To Have A Successful Spring Break

How To Have A Successful Spring Break

Spring Break is upon us (woo!) which means some of us will be drinking in exotic locations (woo!) and, some of us, like myself, will be at home drinking with their old friends from home (woo!). But you can still have a good spring break, even without the plane tickets. Drinks are drinks, friends are ...