Your friends are great. They have to be, or they wouldn’t be your friends. That’s how friends work, after all. But sometimes friends don’t do what’s best for you. They’re too nice, too willing to help. So you need the harshness of a random guy on the internet to tell you what your friends won’t so you can improve.

It’s okay internet. I can be that guy.

Stop Wearing Those Hats

Your friends aren’t going to tell you to stop wearing your hats. But I will.

See, I know. The hats look cool. They’re awesome. But you can’t pull them off. This extends to things that just aren’t cool hats: cool shades, weird sneakers, etc. If you have good friends they won’t tell you when you look stupid. That’s for you to learn and for them to laugh about behind your back. But still, you should know. Just because something is cool doesn’t mean that you’re pulling it off. Be aware, yo.

Get Over Your Ex

She or he wasn’t that great, yo. Or that bad. Either way, forget them.

See, you know that. Even if you’re making mean comments about him or her, that doesn’t mean your over them. Your over them when someone says their name and you go “who?” for a quick moment before remembering. That’s what you want. But your friends can’t say that because you may take that the wrong way. But I can say it, because I’m on the internet. And the internet says what it wants. Just a rebellious internet cowboy, spitting the truth as I see fit.

Your breath smells

Your friends won’t tell you anything basic and embarrsing like this, so let me.

Maybe it doesn’t,  but maybe it does. What I mean is get some gum, get some cologne, get some of those little things to worry about those things you might not worry about and be prepared. Your pals won’t tell you when you’re weak in a sensitive area, but you should do a quick checklist anyway to make sure you’re on point.

Your Band Sucks

This is the big one. Your friends won’t tell you when your band sucks.

Maybe they do, but maybe they don’t. This serves as a metaphor for any creative endeavor you’re into that your friends are obligated to support. Your friends aren’t obligated to like you, but they might support you. Don’t get confused. If your friends come to concerts and say you rule. Maybe you do and maybe you don’t. Similarly, they won’t tell you that the one girl at the bar isn’t interested or whatever; they don’t want to crush your dreams so they’ll support you, no matter how misguided you are. That’s sad, but it means these are great friends, not that you’re great, and that’s better. Great friends are more important than a great band anyway, so you should be happy. But they won’t tell you if you’re bad, so be aware. Strangers are the ones for advice you want.


Hopefully this helps. As for me, I’ll keep shouting critiques at random people on the street. It’s like the internet, but in person. I’m sure they’ll thank me for it.

Photo credit: nathanlewis