Decorating your room or house is a pretty under-rated activity. It’s something you can post-pone and post-pone until, at the end of the year, you realize other than that picture of a cool squirrel your friend took, you have no decorations up. That’s a mistake. Decorations can make your room or house that much cooler that much more personal, and, of course, that much more professional looking when you have to tell your parents you’re an adult, okay, now can they please lend you another two grand?

Plus, ladies dig it. With that said, here are five basic decorating tips from a guy who doesn’t like to decorate.


1. Nothing Embarrassing

That’s the first thing you have to do. Like a doctor, first, do no harm. For example, one of my friends has a poster of, ahem, beach bums, the non-bearded-hobo type. Is it a great picture? Yes. Art? Maybe. Is it something his parents or any potential girl might feel uncomfortable with? Absolutely. Any decoration you have for your house or room should be something easily presented in public.


2. Nothing Expensive

“Guys, Watch out for that painting!” yelled no-one in college.

If you have cool decorations, cool; be careful with them and set them up if you want, but first make an oath with yourself that something might happen. Otherwise, if you end the party early because someone broke a vase (who has a vase in college?) or you try to collect $350 from a terrified Freshman, (who lets Freshmen in their house parties?) you’re going to be in for a bad time. Keep decorations basic, cool, and replaceable for when the inevitable happens.


3. Nothing You’ve Seen Before

No classic posters; people have seen Pulp Fiction, people have seen Scarface and guess what? You’re not Scarface. Breaking Bad is our generation’s Scarface anyhow, but that’s a different argument. No Pink Floyd posters, no basic pop-culture cliche. Get weird, cool, and personal with it. My friend has some hungarian-prints of old Alfred Hitchcock movies up. He loves Hitchcock. It’s unique, personal, and super, super cool. It’s a heck of a poster, the language looks like it’s in alien, and it’s white and purple and forces people to ask about it. It’s a great decoration and if you want something like it, google it. The internet’s around; get weird with your stuff.


4. No Old Alcohol Bottles

We get it, you drink as much as we do. If you are going to put up alcohol bottles, get weird and cool with it. Only pick a certain type for each room maybe, or only save the expensive bottles. Fill them with colored sand like those old things at carnivals. So I guess use them, but mix them up some, okay? Decorate with them, don’t just leave them out like you’re the first person to discover drinking.


5. Tape is Your Friend

Everything is a decoration now. Old comic-book pages torn out and taped to walls? Decoration, if there’s a particularly cool image of Spiderman punching a polar bear for some reason. Same with children’s books; if you’re friend had a page of The Hungry Hungry Caterpillar up, would you not think it was the coolest? Tape means anything you see has the potential to be a cool decoration. Not bad, right?


6. Christmas Lights

Everyone loves Christmas lights. Not everyone has them. That’s a mistake. They’re cool, cheap, colorful, and they’re night-lights. Get some.