First off, I’m sorry.

Breakups suck.  They do, and I got you. Internet hug for you. Even in the age of “we don’t believe in titles-titles” it can get messy. There aren’t really any cures for a broken heart, but a bruised ego and a bummed, sullen mood can be helped in a variety of ways.

1. Wallow In It

Accept it. Take a deep breath, and understand: you’re going to be in sweatpants, complaining on Facebook chat and taking long sighs over your laptop. You might as well be artistic with your sadness. Use it. Listen to the classic or new-classic sad songs: Kanye’s “Blame Game”, Lil Wayne’s “Single” or any other of the classic breakups. There’s a relief in recognizing yourself for what you are and where you’re at. A breakup is a special kind of misery, and instead of dealing with the misery, if you can, accept it’s specialness. It’s a moment to look at yourself and your life and move in a new direction with it, even if you don’t want to. There’s something beautiful about that, you know. Don’t overlook that.

2. Live Well

Living well is the best revenge, they say, and it’s true. Revenge is a tough idea for a breakup (revenge for what? Your good times?) but if you’re going to pursue it, do it right. If you go on a hookup binge, that’s still about the person you broke up with in many ways; depending on how absurd it is, it may even feel wrong or look silly. But: hooking up with that hottie in your English class is perfect. It’s living well and it’s showing off to yourself that you can live well and that’s the point. Remember; it’s about you, not anyone else.

3. Escape

If you aren’t ready to fight a breakup or accept it completely yet, then take some space. Move. It’s hard to be sad when you’re busy; throw yourself into your work or, if you’re lucky enough to have free time, travel. Visit a new college: old friends, new places and parties, and a whole new environment untainted by sadness or memories. It forces you to explore and feel better. By the time you do return, you’ll have a better perception of the breakup, more time to have processed it, and a killer weekend that you can stick with to keep you afloat when you feel bummed later.

4. Self Improve

I’m not going to recommend you eat an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s (I mean, I will generally speaking: that stuff’s great) as a way to get over your breakup. You want long term cures and help, not a short-term answer that’s going to leave you feeling worse after, both mentally and physically. A breakup’s draining and hurts the self esteem. It’s an ego drag and feeling good about yourself’s the name of the game. I could tell you how great you are and your friends can too, and they will, but ultimately? You won’t believe them until you can feel it. If you want to speed through the worst parts of a breakup, focus on yourself. Get to the gym finally. Get clothes you like. Treat yourself, and treat yourself well. You’ll feel good inside and out, and as a bonus, you’ll look great too. That’ll help for number five…

5. Get a Fling

The most fun and final step: find a fling. Nothing serious, just work your way up. It’s a lot of fun. See? Breakups aren’t all bad.