Class is great. It is, allegedly, what you’re paying for, after all, and, allegedly, what the degree is for. If you’re familiar with me, though, you’d know that I have a different idea. I say college is for having adventures, growing as a person, and, again, adventures. Classes are a speed-bump.

You may agree or disagree anywhere on the agreement spectrum, but that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because we want to get real applicable advice for college life, and, as a dedicated slacker, skipping class is an area of expertise.


1. Have a Reason

This is the most important rule of class-skipping. Sure you could skip a class “just because” but there’s going to be a real problem with that. First, it won’t feel special when you do it and second, your guilt will catch up to you. You’ll worry about what you’re doing and start second-guessing your decision and where’s the fun in that? Fill that time with an activity, not free-time. Some good activities include: sleep and…who needs another one? You can sleep!

Other good ones include: all you can eat buffets that are only open on weekday afternoons, leaving early to start the weekend off, a hangover, another person in your bed that morning, or catching up on the gym/doing laundry/breaking bad. If you have a reason, you can do it.


2. Have an Excuse

An excuse is different than a reason. A reason is “I really need some sleep.” An excuse is “this class is stupid.” A successfully skipped class combines those two crucial ingredients and, furthermore, it prevents you from feeling anxious about your decision and minimizes the damage. Some good questions to ask are:

*Would you fall asleep in this class if you went?

*Is the teacher not going to notice if you roll out?

*Is your grade good enough that you’re not worried?

*Is your grade bad enough that, hey, screw it?

Always check your syllabus to see the missed-class policy. Most of my twice-a-weeks offer three missed classes with no consequences. Save one for actual sickness- maybe even two, if you like to play it safe- and, around the middle of the semester, use your flexibility to your advantage.



3. Email

…But don’t lie.

Emailing is the responsible move. Find one person in class you know and ask what you missed. “Hey, I missed class” your email should say. “Can I borrow your notes?” No excuses, no lies. You just missed class. You’re an adult. When you have those notes, feel free to check in with your teacher. “Sorry I missed class” you should say, then ask a question if you have one.

Ta dah! Responsible.


4. The Rules

Skipping class isn’t all fun and games.

Never skip the same class that takes attendance twice in a short period of time. The teacher will notice and ask what’s wrong and put you in a position where you’re either going to have to lie or fess up.

Don’t skip that huge lecture class all the time. That’s how you get a D+ in Astronomy.

NEVER skip an optional review session. That’s the bonus-level of classes. It’s super helpful.

NEVER skip an extra-credit class. Same thing.

The best time to skip class is halfway between mid-term and finals. That’s when you have a strong enough feel of the class to coast by, when nothing important happens, when you know the teacher and who to borrow notes from. What a coincidence. That’s right around now.

I’m writing this article from my pajamas.

I missed class today.