A lot of people believe that your social status is given to you and can rarely be changed. That’s so incredibly wrong. You can adjust your social standing with your peers, friends, acquaintances, family and whoever else interacts with you just by taking care on how you interact with others and portray yourself to them.

Oh, and these techniques to raise your social status? They’re free.

1. Listen

If you’d like to learn the perfect thing to say to get the attention of others, listen to them. People will tell you exactly what they want to hear and how they want it heard if you give them ground to speak. There’s a quote that’s attributed to Mark Twain, Confusius, Abraham Lincoln and numerous other historical figures:

“It is better to let people think you are a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

Whichever one of them said it, or if none of them did, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that it’s true. Hold your tongue. Listen. Learn your timing. Before you know it people will hang on your every word.

2. Smile

Yeah, it takes way more muscles to frown than to smile. But science has also proven that smiling can improve your mood and relax you. It also just so happens that smiling is way more attractive than frowning….well…unless you love to spike your hair, wear lots of eccentric clothing and play guitar really really well. Otherwise, smile. An encouraging, accessible demeanor will attract way more attention than the moody brooder in the corner lamenting the amount of cheese on their cheeseburger.

3. Say ‘Please’ and ‘Thank You’

Saying ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ is a lost art. This makes them infinitely more desirable as people sound more and more like ungrateful louts. Saying these words to someone providing you a service will make them infinitely more amenable to adjustments in the service you desire. Try it and watch their faces light up.

It works that much more so for people in your daily life. Everyone wants to feel appreciated for their presence even if they feel like they’re worthless. Make the little bit of effort to pepper your requests with ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and you’ll find others more willing to do what they can for your benefit.

4. Pay attention to Body Language

People talk even when they’re not talking. Learning to read body language will give you a special insight into their motivations for interacting, or not interacting, with you. Did you say something unfavorable? Do you smell? Does he or she not like your outfit? They’ll tell you in their body language response to you presence. The web is a wealth of information on body language. Study up.

5. Use Brevity

Say what you need to say with as few words as possible as it emphasizes the power of your speech.

6. Say ‘You’re Right’

There is no shame in admitting that someone knows more than you on a subject. If you’re taking care to choose your words carefully in the first place then it will show that whatever you say carries thought and conviction. These ideas are demonstrative in confidence. Your confidence in yourself cannot be diminished by admitting that someone has better information. In fact admitting you’re wrong shows care and resourcefulness and demonstrates humility.

7. Do not say ‘Umm’

‘Umm’ is a delay tactic. It means you either can’t find the words you’re looking for or are looking for them because you never had them to begin with. If you have nothing left to say, stop talking. It will register as confidence as you learn to take more and more care to say exactly what you want to communicate.

The most attractive thing in any social standing is confidence. Put it on display and people will flock to you. Or, you know, keep doing what you’re doing and complain about being alone. It’s your destiny.

Photo Credit: jaredchapman